Me and the Boy: a Po-Mo Listing

1. Ham sandwich

2. Sometimes I sniff his undies. They smell like: red, rubber dodgeballs; the bus station; three-day old mop water, snuffed-out matches; ear wax; used band-aids; duct tape; sharpened pencils; wet newspaper; that guy in front of you at the ATM.

3. I dream that we fly together through the Grand Canyon, arms outstretched Superman style with yellow scarves whipping behind us as we swoop down through the craggy cliffs, avoiding the birds, and dropping perfectly formed turds on all of the tourists rafting through the rapids. It's great.

4. When we walk together through the neighborhood, he tells everyone that I'm his girl. It's pretty clear. We've picked out rings and everything.

5. We've been taking ballroom dancing lessons.

6. I like butts.

7. Resume updating is tiresome.

8. Don't you like cheese?

9. On special occasions the Boy and I go out to the bars and pick up a drunk girl to bring home and torture with our wet flatulence.

10. Ham sandwich.