New Year, New Skull

Considering that the ubiquitous "New Year New Skull" title is a month overdue, I'll have to skip ahead to "Groundhog Report 2006: What They Are Hiding". It has come to this Skull's attention that Groundhog Day is not only a ridiculous holiday, but also a Government Conspiracy to cover up the fact that President Bush and his cabinet are working on an international plot to control the weather! I think that this is a clear argument, considering that they are always saying that there is no such thing as GlobalWarming...because they control it!
I have to say I'm disappointed that various government watch-dog types (myself not included) have yet to explore the phenomenon of Punxsutawney Phil and his imminent world dominion through weather control. Wake up people! Soon ground hogs will rule the world!