A Skully Fairytale

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Wonder.

She was a benevolent ruler and all of her minions adored the very hair between her toes. One afternoon after the daily rabbit turd harvest, Wonder turned to her advisor, the Boy, and asked, "What is the meaning of life?" The Boy, though Wonder's right hand man, had little to say about the meaning of life, as he had not yet discovered himself, but not wanting to anger Princess Wonder, he answered: Cheese. And some shoes.

Wonder was delighted. If cheese was the meaning of life, then Wonder's life was certainly a full one, as she had just begun production overseas in Greenland, where Andre the Giant was the forman of the cheese factory, and everyone that worked there wore t-shirts that read: Wonder's Cheese, Everyday, Please! Even more good news for Wonder, because the t-shirts had been designed by her close friend Matthew Barney, and they were selling like t-shirts designed by Matthew Barney. Needless to say, Wonder was having one heck of a day. And some shoes.

The End.

Me and the Boy: a Po-Mo Listing

1. Ham sandwich

2. Sometimes I sniff his undies. They smell like: red, rubber dodgeballs; the bus station; three-day old mop water, snuffed-out matches; ear wax; used band-aids; duct tape; sharpened pencils; wet newspaper; that guy in front of you at the ATM.

3. I dream that we fly together through the Grand Canyon, arms outstretched Superman style with yellow scarves whipping behind us as we swoop down through the craggy cliffs, avoiding the birds, and dropping perfectly formed turds on all of the tourists rafting through the rapids. It's great.

4. When we walk together through the neighborhood, he tells everyone that I'm his girl. It's pretty clear. We've picked out rings and everything.

5. We've been taking ballroom dancing lessons.

6. I like butts.

7. Resume updating is tiresome.

8. Don't you like cheese?

9. On special occasions the Boy and I go out to the bars and pick up a drunk girl to bring home and torture with our wet flatulence.

10. Ham sandwich.

Back With a Vengence and an Update

This Skull has been away too long!

Things have changed in our house, and so I'm no longer afflicted with having to share oxygen with

Gertrude, Ramona, or Megan. It's just me and the boy, the way it always should have been. We go on walks together, sniff stuff, sneak snacks of cat turds that lie baking in the grass, go to work, look at stuff, sleep on the couch, listen to music, write poetry, and I even have my own myspace page!

Needless to say, things are looking up for the old Wonderskull. Finally, I'm getting the attention I deserve.