An Open Letter to the Boy

Dear Boy,
It has come to my attention that I am sorely lacking incertain creature comforts such as love, and petting, and extra treats on the weekends. I believe as the one and only Wonder Skull that this matter should be addressed tout suite! As I speak for all of the bitches in this house, it is imperitive that a skull gets the love she deserves, be it in scratches behind the ear, playing fetch, or in the shunning of Ramona at every chance (which brings this skull so much quiet joy). I promise, therefore, that if the aformentioned acts are not promptly carried out, I will terrorize you and Megan until I receive these things. Please include a snack of cheese in with these demands-- sharp cheddar or baby swiss will not suffice, I need some pepperjack to keep my coat shiny.
Thank you and beware,
Wonder the Skull